Last Monday at our POOT: Phasing Out of Trauma meeting, I led a spiritual practice for the Holidays. Not everyone has a HAPPY Holiday or a MERRY Christmas. The Holidays bring on mixed emotions. Dysfunctional families. Anxiety. Kaos. Grief of lost loved ones. Loneliness. Disappointments.
This is not the kind of birthday celebration Jesus intended.
Yet we can have Gratitude with Disappointment. You can feel Joy along with Sadness. You can find Peace amid Dysfunctional Kaos. And you can feel Love in the midst of Fear. Really? Yes, by holding both feelings together.
We tend to brush off, ignore, stuff, or minimize the negative or uncomfortable feeling in life.
But they don’t go away. And when they take root, we are stuck. By welcoming these emotions…YES WELCOMING…they lose some of their power over us. Being authentic before God with what I truly am feeling helps me deal with these feelings. I do NOT let these emotions determine my self-worth. Instead, after I have accepted them, I slowly release these to God to hold. Although it takes time and repetition, since these feelings come and go, we can experience more gratitude, joy, peace, and love.
Here is a prayer practice for the Holidays. The women at the meeting found it lifted their souls. That is what our Lord does! Hope you will give it a try.
Remove any distractions. Find a safe place to be alone with God.
Get comfortable in your chair. Sink into it as if you are sinking into God’s love.
Breathe in and out deeply for a few minutes. Breathe in the love of Christ, breathe out any distractions.
Hold both palms out and upward.
In one place, your disappointments. Perhaps what didn’t happen for you this year or an unanswered prayer. Remember, be authentic with God. He truly listens with compassion.
Then, on the other hand, place your gratitude. What are you grateful for today or this year?
Permit yourself to feel both emotions. This is a process and takes time.
Do not place your disappointment hand on your heart, which is your core being. In other words, do not let the disappointments affect your self-worth. These things happened or have not happened yet because you are unworthy. That is a lie. Trust God has something better for you.
When you are ready, slowly release the disappointments. Raise that palm up to the heavens for God to hold. Then dwell or meditate on what you are most grateful for.
Place the gratitude hand on your heart. Feel the love these gifts create.
Repeat this prayer with Peace and Anxiety, Joy and Sadness, Love and Fear.
What are you sad about? Let yourself feel the sadness and allow God’s compassion and comfort. In the other hand, put what brought you joy today. Let the joy soak in your heart.
What or Who is disturbing your peace? Find ways to practice peace this season. Mindful breathwork. Staying present in the moment. Grounding yourself with what you see, hear, taste, touch, and smell in the moment.
And most of all, don’t let those negative thoughts have rent-free space in your head.
What are you truly afraid of losing? Or fear you won’t get? Or other fears? Be authentic with God. He never judges you. Then, name three ways you experienced God’s love for you today. Place that hand over your heart and allow his love to permeate your being.
You may want to devise a plan during the Holidays. For example, if your family gathering is stressful, decide how to take care of yourself before, during, and after the gathering. For instance, pray before the event. At the event, establish healthy boundaries. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and say some breathing prayers. After the event, journal what happened and all the emotions that came up.
Find ways to practice joy this season. See Christmas lights or watch an uplifting movie. Spend time with those who love you, where you feel joyfully lifted. Spend time in prayers and practices that give you peace. And most of all, feel the love that God has poured into you. Offer yourself compassion and kind words that deepen this love. See if someone needs some compassion, kindness, and love, too.
May you have a Grateful Holiday, Peaceful Advent, Joyful Christmas, and Loving New Year.
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